Don't Call Me Disconnected :) & Other Post Miscarriage Challenges

If I learned anything this time around, it's evident the miracle that babies really are!!! There's so much that goes into this & sometimes I envy those who got pregnant without trying. But then again, I realize how much different this journey would be and I am so thankful that God choose this path for us. Here are some of the challenges we were faced with this time around. I wanted to share these things because they are a real part of what happens post "M" word.

It was very hard to pinpoint ovulation. Normally, my app does it for me but all bets were off because my body was resetting itself. Oh yeah, a uterus guessing game!! Which did help make it fun, of course. Previously, I was using ovulation tests as a back up to confirm that my app was correct. But without my app, I was lost. I starting testing last Saturday (the "M" word stopped 5 days prior). I got what I thought was a + but I was misread it...mine don't say yes or no, I actually have to interrupt the results. And I kept misreading them up because I wouldn't read the directions, typical ADHD for you!! And when we thought we were done trying, I took one last test & realized how wrong I was. Oh my goodness, I wasn't sure I could keep going..then someone reminded me what Betty White said...

Yep, thanks Betty!

I was still charting my BBT (Basil Body Temperature) everyday but it wasn't telling me much because it wouldn't spike. I kept waiting & thinking ovulation had occurred. But that's how I figured out the ovulation tests were messing up (see, I can just blame them). And when the spike finally happened it was less than 24 hours post ovulation, Which was a much shorter time frame than last month. Our bodies are really amazing & are quite the enigma sometimes.

Ultimately, it took more out of us this time around, because not only were we trying to figure all this out & hitting bumps in the road but there were about a billion other things happening all at the same time. Burk had an interview (another position at his hotel) on Thursday & it wasn't until Friday when he asked me if I wanted to hear about it...oh my goodness I had completely forgotten to ask how it went (terrible wife, haha)!!! Then I was dealing with my own work related stuff, where someone decided to call me out as being "disconnected"...LOL, of course I am disconnected, the "M" word will do that to you!!  Plus, I found out that a close friend, whom I tried to tell I was pregnant but never called me back (so I didn't think she knew about the pregnancy or the "m" word either). But she revealed that she read about it on the blog. That's not how I wanted her to find out but if that's good enough for her then I will just have to make my peace with it. But it made me think that she intentionally chose not to reach out & say anything in part because we had argued over something silly just a few weeks ago & she was still upset...anyways, I really hope that's not the case.

All of that lead to the realization that my anxiety was rearing it's ugly head so I got myself back in the gym yesterday & didn't leave til I worked out the desire to CUSS everyone out & tell everyone to BITE ME :)!! I feel much better now & I am getting refocused. We are looking forward to what's lies ahead for us. There is so much hope right now!!!

XOXO,
Angie