The Waiting Begins

And now we wait...2 weeks of waiting!!! This is the not so fun part. I asked Burk if he felt like time was creeping by & he responded that it wasn't for him. So I realize now it's a women thing..oh my gravy, hours feel like days right now. Although I wouldn't say that I am obsessing about being pregnant, I would say that my body can be easily persuaded by my desire to be pregnant. After taking a quiz (just for fun), I am experiencing about 25% of the signs that I may be pregnant. But I take that with a grain of salt.

Right now, I feel slightly (that may be an understatement) more anxious than I normally do, so I am doing a lot things that bring me peace & calm me. I have already had 2 episodes this week, luckily neither lasted more than a few minutes. However, feeling like I am going to pass out & having my heart race is just not any fun. I used to feel weak & out of control when my anxiety would hit. And I would beat myself up over not being able to control it. But I have come to accept it as a part of life & not judge myself too harshly, especially right now. I have to let go & let God.

I know that if we find out that our efforts didn't pay off this month we still have plenty of time to conceive. I have learned that 3-6 months on average is what it takes, so I am mentally prepared if it doesn't happen. But I am not going to be emotionally prepared. And I know I am probably going to cry. Just because of how hard we worked in a very short time frame. And let me say that the exhaustion from trying was hard on both of us. By the end of it, we were finding it hard to stay motivated but we managed to push thru it. So, I have developed a whole new respect for those that are trying. It's not easy having to do that everyday or even every other day. I apologize if that's too much information. But I am sure we are not are the first to feel that way. And after all I promised to be honest about this process.

Right now, we just need your prayers. Prayers for peace & for the next 2 weeks to not creep by so slowly that I lose my mind. And prayers that my anxiety will realize it's not welcomed here. Thanks for being a part of this journey. That's all for now.

XOXO,
Angie