After my last post, Burk & I discovered the unique paths we are on, while we are trying to arrive at the same decision. Even though we didn't choose these paths out loud, we just naturally fell into them, I love that we are both concentrating on what we feel is most important. My first priority is to educate myself about what it's going to be like to carry Baby Forester for 9 months. Then make good decisions about how to bring her/him into this world safely (as I discussed previously). But what I love the most is that he is putting in the effort with what's going to happen afterwards. He is actually taking on the part that I have given up to God. Will we be good parents, what if we disagree on how to do things, what if we mess them up? You know all the things I am sure every parent worries about. He's already thinking about these things & I am not even pregnant yet, which tells me what a great father he is going to be!!
I feel like we may be further along in the process that we originally thought. We have already discussed some of the things we are looking forward to. Mine are: having Burk take care of me for 9 months, embracing this process fully & completely, creating at birth plan that allows for the least intervention but also to trust the process if intervention is needed, the 6 weeks after the baby is born & being home & taking care of this baby, together. His are: (keep in mind, we have a sweet but stubborn dog that doesn't listen sometimes) so he is excited about being able to communicate with the child..like "no" & "stop that" might actually work. He is also excited about teaching the baby about things that are important to him, like literature. And we talked about exposing our child to many different options, like piano lessons or dancing or singing, etc...but not as means to force them into but as a means to give them options. And we would be fine with whatever they picked.
We have also discussed all the things we have accomplished to get to where we are now. This is going to be my first year, EVER in my career that I will only have 1 tax return (this job thing has always been such an issue) & I am so excited to finally have landed where I am!!! We live in an amazing condo that we love & it's set up perfectly to have a child. We both have cars that are fully functioning (that has not always been the case) & 1 is about to be paid off. Coco is about to get fixed & we are purposely doing it now so that she will have time to calm down before the baby arrives. We are both happy with where we are & with what we have accomplished just in the last 4 years or so. And we both agree that even if nothing changed, even if we decided not to do this that we would both still be happy. It's like right before anyone decides to get married, we have to be ok with being alone or single before we can get married. And that's where we are right now. We are ok with not having a baby & still loving our lives, I hope that makes sense. Well, that's all for now.
Angie
I feel like we may be further along in the process that we originally thought. We have already discussed some of the things we are looking forward to. Mine are: having Burk take care of me for 9 months, embracing this process fully & completely, creating at birth plan that allows for the least intervention but also to trust the process if intervention is needed, the 6 weeks after the baby is born & being home & taking care of this baby, together. His are: (keep in mind, we have a sweet but stubborn dog that doesn't listen sometimes) so he is excited about being able to communicate with the child..like "no" & "stop that" might actually work. He is also excited about teaching the baby about things that are important to him, like literature. And we talked about exposing our child to many different options, like piano lessons or dancing or singing, etc...but not as means to force them into but as a means to give them options. And we would be fine with whatever they picked.
We have also discussed all the things we have accomplished to get to where we are now. This is going to be my first year, EVER in my career that I will only have 1 tax return (this job thing has always been such an issue) & I am so excited to finally have landed where I am!!! We live in an amazing condo that we love & it's set up perfectly to have a child. We both have cars that are fully functioning (that has not always been the case) & 1 is about to be paid off. Coco is about to get fixed & we are purposely doing it now so that she will have time to calm down before the baby arrives. We are both happy with where we are & with what we have accomplished just in the last 4 years or so. And we both agree that even if nothing changed, even if we decided not to do this that we would both still be happy. It's like right before anyone decides to get married, we have to be ok with being alone or single before we can get married. And that's where we are right now. We are ok with not having a baby & still loving our lives, I hope that makes sense. Well, that's all for now.
Angie
Proud of you for all of the thought you are putting into this! More parents should do just that and then kids would be happier and parents would enter into parenthood with eyes wide open and with good planning! Love your!
ReplyDelete